Better Conversations

I've never had a particularly hard time making friends. Not that I've been super popular or anything, but I'm an outgoing, social person by nature, and friendship is important to me. For a few years while Hannah and Max were younger, friendship was still important to me, but the demands of juggling family and work meant there wasn't a lot of time left for movies and long, leisurely dinners. Thankfully, that's changing, and I'm making time to spend with friends about once a week.

This past weekend, one of my four roommates from junior year of college was in town, and she rounded us up to get together (though we missed Julie). In the picture above I'm sitting between Carol and Michael, and opposite me are Julia and Michael's husband Justin. We were roommates from 1998-1999, though I'd lived with Carol for the prior two years as well, along with Julie. Carol and Michael grew up together in Wakefield, MA, so I met him on the first day of college too (and Michael met Justin during that junior year as well). Julia joined our group not too long after when Carol met her in second semester Chemistry, I believe. There are so many stories that come to mind just typing these few sentences. We've been lucky to see each other through the years at weddings and now keep up with each other through social media.

But Sunday's dinner was different. Once we all settled in, there was a moment of awkward silence as we all studied our menus. It had been more than two years since the four roommates had last had dinner together, and I'll admit that I panicked a bit in that quiet moment. But that's all it was - one tiny moment - as we spent the rest of the night talking at a frenetic pace, catching each other up on so many details of our lives, discussing politics (gotta love it when everyone agrees with each other), and finally, dissecting disappointment.

There's a new song by Train called "Bruises" (video below), and the lyric "these bruises make for better conversations" has been rolling around in my head since I first heard it. And that's the point my friends and I got to as the night started to wind down. We talked about how much harder life has been than we anticipated back when we lived together in our fake apartment. That despite all of our education and career success, and trust me we are an accomplished bunch, that we still didn't foresee the things that we all have faced and struggled through. We were young and naive.

But the connections we made at that long ago point in our lives are still very real. And while we may not get together as often as we should, it was good to see that our conversations over our cheap attempts at meals in 1998 were no different than our conversations over fancy French fare in 2012. Well, other than the food being better.

I'm lucky to have them in my life still, and happy to make even more time to nurture these friendships in the years to come.

 

Carol, me, Michael, Julia and Julie in our "Grad" campus apartment, Fall 1998

 The table of friends at Marc's and my wedding, June 2002