An Update From The Back

Faithful readers might remember that last spring I decided it was finally time to get myself together and start exercising. I wrote that post on May 8, a couple of months after I began seeing a personal trainer and in the middle of a few hectic weekends. By May 14, The Back was out again.

So after getting The Back as close to normal again and going out to California, in the last few weeks I've begun seeing a physical therapist to help prevent another painful episode. So far, it's been challenging. The exercises themselves don't seem that bad, and yet they end up bothering me. I am trying to strengthen my back so that I can get back to regular exercise without harming myself, but it's also a mental challenge. Twisting is not my friend - it was a bad twist that set off my left side and resulted in two months of not being able to walk. I have a hard time not flashing back to that moment, as it is seared in my memory, and the nerves in my legs and feet remember it well too. So when my therapist added some twists to my routine in the last week, I've really been feeling it. These thirty minutes of exercise are completely exhausting too. I'm not getting that energized feeling from exercising; I'm getting the "oh my goodness I need to go to bed early" feeling.

I have no idea if it's helping yet, but I will stick with it and hopefully see some results. I don't want to spend the rest of my life accommodating The Back in every way - looking for chairs with arms, keeping one hand on the counter as I load the dishwasher, trying to avoid carrying anything at all. It's so draining to be constantly aware of how I could hurt myself, and so I hope at some point I can re-train my brain not to expect pain, but instead to swiftly do the activity as I would have before all this started.